I wrote to my local MP - a care home visit rant

Sometimes I just get so cross and it builds and builds but I do nothing about it. I have strong views on matters but have no outlet. Well this weekend I couldn't leave it anymore. I read the news and just wound myself up, so I proactively did do something and I wrote to my local MP.

'Dear Mr .........

Thank you for your stock reply to my stock email, sent via the Alzheimer’s signed letter to the government.

However, I wish to speak to you on a more personal level, especially in light of the news that the government have said this morning that they are going to allow one nominated family member visiting rights to a care home, as long as full PPE is worn together with a negative lateral flow test. This is very good news indeed, but there are three people in my family that need to desperately see my mother and also, critically, the care home where she resides does not support lateral flow tests. 

You say in your email that you can imagine how challenging it must be for families caring for loved ones but, unless you are in the position where you have had a loved one in a care home over this last year, then you really couldn’t imagine how challenging and heart breaking it really is.

My mother went into a care home in February 2020 and, between my father, my brother and I, as well as her friends, she had visitors daily. All that stopped in March when the home, rightly, closed its doors to visitors. Due to lack of clear and timely guidance and staff infections, behind the screen visits have been severely limited and I have only seen my mother once since March.  Due to having no contact she no longer recognises me; any relationship with her in the future is lost. The personal care that I always gave my mother isn’t provided by the care home and the consequential decline in her wellbeing is devastating for me to witness.

You say that the governments aim throughout the pandemic has been to keep people in care homes safe and well, but there has to be a balance between keeping the residents well and causing more distress to not only them but also to their families. My mother would have been and is distraught on occasions, wondering what she had done to make all the people she knew and loved through her visits abandon her. I see photos of my mother occasionally online from the care home and she is no longer recognisable.

My uncle, who also had Alzheimers, went into a care home last month. I saw him the day before he went in and he was smiling and joking with me on the doorstep; he was in good shape. My uncle had to be dropped off outside at the care home and had no visitors to make sure he settled in. My uncle died in less that 4 weeks. We can only put this down to him refusing to eat or drink because he didn’t know what was going on. We have his funeral next week.

I understand that allowing people into care homes brings an infection risk; however, my father is fully vaccinated (since December) and my mother has had her first vaccine, as has my brother. This is more than some of the carers at the home, who are allowed in and out each day. It is safe to say, therefore, that the carers are far more of a risk to my mother than her own family members. 

We have read in the news that some companies are employing a no jab no job rule; why has not been made an essential part of working with the vulnerable in care homes? 

In my mothers care home, visiting has been stopped on the whole because of the carers testing positive, not because of any positive results amongst the residents. On top of this, the home has closed for 28 days each time, not 14 as it states in their official guideline letters. 

I totally understand that you can’t force people to have the vaccine, but you can make a ruling that if they are not prepared to have the vaccine in a role where they have literally hands on contact with vulnerable people then they should look for a different job role entirely, rather than putting other peoples lives at risk.

If you share the governments commitment to bringing an end to the separation of people in care homes, as you state, then can I ask what are you doing on a personal level to help bring this into force? With all due respect, monitoring this issue isn’t doing anything to actually help the situation.

As my representative, I would urge you therefore to bring pressure to the government on the following issues:

Eliminate PPE for fully vaccinated family members so that faces and expressions can be seen by the sufferers of Alzheimers and dementia.

The BBC has reported that only a low percentage of care home workers have been offered the vaccine, is this actually the case or is it actually that only a low percentage of care home workers have taken taken up the offer of the jab? Please can you obtain figures that give a true account of why the care home workers haven’t been vaccinated?

It appears that care home workers are actually a far greater risk to my mother than my fully vaccinated father who is unable to have a proper meaningful visit, why has a rule not been brought into force stating that home care workers should be no jab no job?

I look forward to receiving your full and considered response.

Best regards'

The garden project

Our house should be exchanging this week, slightly scary as this was where our children grew up, a little bit exciting but mostly a huge weight that will be lifted once it's actually gone. 

What was to mostly be a one woman project, started in May 2020, with the garden being the biggest element by far that needed the most work. When you're faced with this its extremely daunting.

A view from the bedroom window

A view from the bedroom window

As well as working indoors on clearing and decorating most of the summer was spent outside tackling the garden.

Bit by bit the garden started to come back to life. People were paid to do the initial clear, which then left all the bramble and ivy roots to be dug out, which believe me is back breaking work that just goes on and on for week after week.

Initial clear

Initial clear

Clearing out the greenhouse

Shed down

Fences up

Top level cleared and a border planted

One day of social distanced help, digging out more roots

Cleared of roots and level

Turf down

Before

2 tonnes of gravel later and were done 

After

All in all I'm pretty pleased with the final outcome of the garden, even though it did take me months. I relaid part of the patio, took car loads of bramble roots weekly to the dump, took down a shed, spent days clambering over rockery digging up ivy and brambles out of all the nooks and crannies, helped lay the turf and generally spent my whole summer digging.

Fingers crossed everything goes through ok in the next few weeks.

February already, an update

 Its been two weeks since my last update, so here we go again.

• Weight - Finally a slight movement in the right direction. 
• Physical wellbeing - Ok until floored with a full on migraine.
• Mental wellbeing - Better than it was.

Weight - I've kicked the crisp habit, a major milestone. I've had no butter or fat of any kind. However, I have still sneaked in the very odd nibble of cheese, so still work to go on the cheese front. I do feel however that I've finally got my head in the right place and will now continue along the right path, slowly but surely.

Physical wellbeing - Last week I did a 6 mile cycle ride which I have to be honest nearly killed me and I was shocked at my lack of fitness after a 3 month break. One nice long walk and a couple of smaller ones but nothing to write home. 

Tuesday this week I had one of the worst migraines that I've had. Ive only ever had one quite like it before and it sent to Hospital with a suspected stroke. If it hadn't started with the zig zag lines and loss of vision I would have been even more scared than I was. I couldn't remember the names of things or people including my husband or grandchildren, I couldn't read, make sense of things or understand words  for a brief period (exactly as before) but this time thankfully I didn't experience the numbness in one half of my face or arm. I'd woken up with horrible neck pain in the morning, which unbeknown to me could well be a warning of of a migraine coming on, I will definitely be more aware in future, but fingers crossed this was another one off. Two days in bed with the horrible headache and I woke up this morning thankfully feeling much better.

Mental wellbeing - Not too bad considering; I've become obsessed with checking the daily virus figures which causes great concern and slight panic, especially here in the South East of England. 

On the plus side, I have finally also got myself into gear about sorting out my house, in preparation to move the sold houses 'stuff' over. It's a huge job, I'm clearing out a cluttered house into an already cluttered house. I am trying to put a square peg into a round whole and as we know it is NEVER ever going to fit. 

We had some snow!

 

We woke up to snow last Sunday. It came down thick and fast for a good few hours. 

It would have been lovely too if everyone was all tucked up safely indoors, according to lockdown rules if nothing else, but Roys mum had her vaccination due at 10:30 and no amount of snow was going to stop that happening. Roy was nominated the driver and after a worrying hour they were both home safe and sound.

All traces of the snow was gone by Monday afternoon.