A New Year - here we go again!

Last year I was absolutely determined to get fit and lose the weight I had put on. My posts along with my enthusiasm disappeared in May and since then everything has just about gone to pot. Not only am I now creeping back to my heaviest recorded weight, but I have also lost any level of fitness that I may have had.  

Peri-menopause isn't helping the situation one little bit. Another recent blood test has shown that I am even more post menopausal than I was in May, which seems absurd because I have not yet been through the menopause. My doctor agreed this week to check out my estrogen levels, in conjunction with the normal hormone test they have done, so I'll see what comes up from the test some time next week. 

Some of my main current Peri-menopause/menopausal symptoms, in no particular order are: weight gain, depression, terrible anxiety, general aches and pains, fatigue, insomnia and night time hot flushes. Fortunately the migraines and headaches have calmed down and have got to the stage where they are more unusual than common place and I am very grateful for that.

I also have an autoimmune disease called Palmoplantar Pustulosis (PPP) and although I count myself lucky that its on the soles of my feet and not the palms of my hands (I can hide it), I find it really stressful  and at times extremely painful. Interestingly six years ago I followed the 8 week Blood sugar diet and whilst I did this to lose weight, my PPP cleared up for the first time in years. I am very confident that the change to my PPP was due to the lack of gluten and grains.

In contrast with the blood sugar diet (a low calorie, low carb, but high animal protein diet), for the last year I have been trying to follow the Starch Solution way of eating; a whole food plant based diet, that concentrates on consuming mainly starches. Although people get fantastic results, both reversing diseases and losing weight, it doesn't work for me. Not only I have put on a lot of weight, although I haven't stuck to anything 100% of the time, but my PPP is worse than ever, which is concerning.  

And so in conclusion - I know I want to be whole food and plant based, but the plan is to also go gluten and grain free, at least for a while to see what happens to my feet and if I can again put my PPP into remission. I have rejoined the gym and hope to get back to where I can enjoy going again and start to see some changes in my fitness levels and all round wellbeing. Fingers crossed that this year I will at least stick to something. 

June update..

It's difficult to know what to say really this month. I've had some interesting conversations with my doctor and managed to put on 8 pounds, that's more or less the highlights. 

• Weight - Oh what's the point, back to square one
• Physical wellbeing - Managing this month. 
• Mental wellbeing - Not so bad the last couple of weeks

Weight - Not only have I not lost any weight I have in fact gained over half a stone and I'm exactly back where I was when I started to try and be accountable.

Physical wellbeing - Following on from my last update, I had my blood tests done which included; full blood count, kidney and liver function, diabetes and hormone levels. I received the results confirming all normal, no action required. Really good news but that still didn't explain the neck and head issues that I am experiencing every day, along with all the other goodies that go with it.

I called the doctor back and spoke to one of the surgeries female doctors. I asked what the hormone blood test showed and she said they were normal and where they should be of a woman of my age, being that I  was post menopausal. I explained that I wasn't post menopausal as I was still having regular periods and as far as I was aware to be post menopausal I would have to have not had a period for 12 months. I asked if that  result would account for a lot of the problems I was having? She said no, your hormones are where they should be for a woman of your age and post menopausal. 

Now I'm not a doctor but surely someone that is should be aware of the fundamental issues woman face nearing menopause and certainly what the definition of menopause is. Also any doctor, male or female should know about potential menopause problems and not be dismissal, after all over half of the patients in their surgery will be women.

She went on to say that the doctor who had ordered this batch of blood tests hadn't ordered all of the correct tests she wanted and that she would do some more for bone issues and to rule out 'more sinister stuff'. She would also arrange for a neck X-ray. I went for the neck X-ray that afternoon in order that it would be back the following week, along with the additional blood test results. 

I went back for the additional blood tests, had my weight checked (no more said about that) and also my blood pressure checked which was high. This may be down to my white coat syndrome but its probably also a good idea to reduce my salt intake in the meantime.

A few days later I called back and again was advised that my blood results were normal, no action required. I asked the receptionist if they had a menopause specialist in the surgery and she said shed get the doctor to call me back. The doctor called back and said she wouldn't refer me to a menopause specialist until I had been referred to a neurologist and so I am on a waiting list for that. 

However my neck X-ray did show Spondylosis/Spondylitis in the C4&C5 vertebra, degeneration of the disks, which may account for some of the neck and head issues. I've done research and joined a Facebook group and I'm surprised at how many issues this can cause, from the headaches, neck pain and ear problems to stomach issues and throat problems. I have also found that menopause can make all these symptoms much worse, so a double whammy all at once.

Personally, I do think that I need to see a menopause specialist and we are thinking of now going private for this issue. My main symptoms are surely linked to peri-menopause. I have always been very regular and the last couple of years my periods have gone from 28 days to 30/32. From February this year, along with the first major migraine I dropped to 23 days and then 26 for the following couple of months. My last period was on 18 April and I thought that was that, but after 52 days its back. I'm just hoping that having felt much better over the last couple of weeks I don't have to start again with all the other symptoms coming crashing in again.

Some good news though, my bowel and smear screening all came back as negative.

Mental wellbeing - Considering everything I would say I'm currently doing ok.

May update

A whole month has gone by without any change to anything really, a wasted month on the weight loss front for certain, I've definitely gone off the boil, my motivation has waned.

• Weight - more or less the same as last month. 
• Physical wellbeing - Could be better again.
• Mental wellbeing - About the same.

Weight - No weight loss this month, but mostly through lack of trying. My get up and go has got up and gone.

Physical wellbeing - I've had another month of neck pain and headaches. I actually got to see a physiotherapist, following a doctors telephone consultation, with the hope that I would get some sort of treatment or help. But although you can now physically go into the surgery for the appointment they don't do actual hands on treatment, just talk through your symptoms. So I left with some neck exercises and wondering why they didn't just do an online video call. She did however suggest that I arrange for some blood tests to get my hormones checked and I have an appointment for that later this month. 

In February 2020 I received a letter from the NHS for a bowel cancer screening appointment due in April that year. I had no idea that over 55s were invited for this in the first place but was secretly pretty happy that for obvious reasons it was cancelled. However last week I received a home test and did duly send it off. Lucky me, I also received a phone call from the doctors to book an appointment for a smear test which I also went to on Friday. I am now waiting for the results of these two tests, as well as having an appointment for the blood tests. Its going to be an anxious 4 week wait to get all the results in, but at least after that I would have had a pretty good MOT of sorts.

Mental wellbeing - More or less ok, around the same as last month, so that's all good. 

April update

Here we go again. I really thought that making myself accountable on here would help me achieve goals but its not having the effect I was hoping for.

• Weight - It was ok, but suddenly its going up. 
• Physical wellbeing - Could be better.
• Mental wellbeing - Better.

Weight - I was going down 0.5lb a week, but in the last week I somehow have managed to gain 4lbs! Yes 4lbs in a week and although I have eaten some things I wouldn't normally eat it shouldn't account for all that weight gain.

Physical wellbeing - Still not much exercise going on. The house completed and I'm now starting the process all over again helping my aunt clear out her house, having sold it within a week of being marketed. 

The headaches have been back but I'm starting to believe they could be food intolerances as well as hormonal. I try to follow a plant based diet and take inspiration from Dr Greger of the How not to die fame. In his last book, How not to diet he has a recipe for BROL, which is basically cooked Barley groats, Rye grain, Oat groats and lentils. I had it for breakfast with soya milk and frozen berries and it was delicious. However not only do Barley and Rye contain gluten, but I think its actually the oats that causes me digestive problems. 

I started having steal cut oats in March last year but everytime I eat them I end up with terrible burping and I really mean terrible, I sound like I'm belching from a drain, right up from my boots and its not at all lady like. I also get a weird prickly chest and throat thing. Its taken me a while to put two and two together and give up oats because everything you read says that oats is so good for your gut health. If you have gut problems, eat oats, or not in my case. 

I've done my research and found articles which explain why some people just can not tolerate oats. There is a chemical in oats called Avenin that affects some people and unfortunately I'm beginning to think I am one of those unlucky few. Every time I reintroduce oats or wheat I get the gut issues as well as migraine or tension type headaches which can then last for two or three days. Maybe its just time to finally kick the habit of both and just accept that I can't have them. The days I am headache free just feel wonderful, everything just seems so much better.

Mental wellbeing - This has got much better this last month. Spring is on its way and the sun shines most days, fingers crossed this just keeps getting better. 

March update and health anxieties.

 A new month and a new update.

• Weight - Slowly but surely moving in the right direction. 
• Physical wellbeing - Ok but my health anxieties are taking over.
• Mental wellbeing - Its not been good.

Weight - I've lost that first 7lbs (half a stone) and that always feels good. Its coming down, even if it is only by half a pound a week. I just need to keep my head in gear and keep up the momentum. 

Physical wellbeing - Not much has been happening on the exercise front, mostly I've just been clearing out the sold house and clearing out the house we live in to accommodate the excess 'stuff'. We've exchanged for completion next week and that will be a massive weight off once its all done and dusted and I can find time for other things to occupy my mind. 

Mental wellbeing - I think physical and mental wellbeing should be lumped together this month. My health anxieties are beginning to rule my life again. For some reason every year at this time is really bad for me. 

I hate being like this, scared of every twinge, looking in the mirror constantly for changes, checking heart rates all the time and looking up Dr Google for any inconsistencies. Not only is it extremely bad for me but it also affects all those around me. I live in a constant fear that there is something terribly wrong until I can get checked out and told I'm ok. This year I can't do that as I can't get an appointment to see a doctor in person, so it's just building up and up. 

I think a lot of my problems could be put down to peri-menopause. Im 56 and still have regular periods, or mostly regular. I have a list of symptoms that have been going on for years but are getting worse each month, from the headaches and sleepless nights, to the aches, pains and anxieties that drive everyone, including myself mad. But I'm hopeful that by next months update I'll be feeling better and back on a more level day to day mental wellbeing.

February already, an update

 Its been two weeks since my last update, so here we go again.

• Weight - Finally a slight movement in the right direction. 
• Physical wellbeing - Ok until floored with a full on migraine.
• Mental wellbeing - Better than it was.

Weight - I've kicked the crisp habit, a major milestone. I've had no butter or fat of any kind. However, I have still sneaked in the very odd nibble of cheese, so still work to go on the cheese front. I do feel however that I've finally got my head in the right place and will now continue along the right path, slowly but surely.

Physical wellbeing - Last week I did a 6 mile cycle ride which I have to be honest nearly killed me and I was shocked at my lack of fitness after a 3 month break. One nice long walk and a couple of smaller ones but nothing to write home. 

Tuesday this week I had one of the worst migraines that I've had. Ive only ever had one quite like it before and it sent to Hospital with a suspected stroke. If it hadn't started with the zig zag lines and loss of vision I would have been even more scared than I was. I couldn't remember the names of things or people including my husband or grandchildren, I couldn't read, make sense of things or understand words  for a brief period (exactly as before) but this time thankfully I didn't experience the numbness in one half of my face or arm. I'd woken up with horrible neck pain in the morning, which unbeknown to me could well be a warning of of a migraine coming on, I will definitely be more aware in future, but fingers crossed this was another one off. Two days in bed with the horrible headache and I woke up this morning thankfully feeling much better.

Mental wellbeing - Not too bad considering; I've become obsessed with checking the daily virus figures which causes great concern and slight panic, especially here in the South East of England. 

On the plus side, I have finally also got myself into gear about sorting out my house, in preparation to move the sold houses 'stuff' over. It's a huge job, I'm clearing out a cluttered house into an already cluttered house. I am trying to put a square peg into a round whole and as we know it is NEVER ever going to fit. 

New Year, New Start update and its not good

It's been more or less three weeks since my New year, New Start, New Me plan and this is not going to be the update I was hoping for. 

The three areas I want/need to improve on have gone like this...

• Weight - I've put it on. 
• Physical wellbeing - Ive been feeling under the weather, sluggish and felt pretty run down most of the time. 
• Mental wellbeing - Panicky, depressed and low.

So all in all a bit of a disaster. But I'm not going to give up, I know where I'm going wrong and I have no-one else to blame but myself.

Weight - I'm struggling to give up (or not giving up) the lunch time bag of crisps. I'm sneaking in bites of cheese when I'm making Roy's sandwiches. I've been eating oat and rice cakes with 'real' butter AND added peanut butter. There has also been the nuts, chocolates and sweets left over from Christmas, but these have all gone now thank goodness, unfortunately they've all gone into my tummy. 

Physical wellbeing - I have tried to make time for exercise; I started doing yoga three times a week but that's drifted off. I enjoyed walking but haven't been out for any proper ones lately, partly due to the weather and feeling run down but also out of sheer laziness. Ive decided though rather than stressing about not having exercised and giving myself a hard time about it, I'll concentrate on eating sensibly, doing things that I enjoy and taking one step at a time, literally in this case.

Mental wellbeing - This last year has been particularly testing for everyone, but for people like me who suffer from health anxieties it can be even more terrifying. But, I'm trying to keep busy, trying to make time for art and planning the clearing out of the house that's under offer. Now I just need to pull my socks up and get on with it. 

So that's it, all of this procrastinating has to stop today, or maybe tomorrow. No definitely today!