A New Year - here we go again!

Last year I was absolutely determined to get fit and lose the weight I had put on. My posts along with my enthusiasm disappeared in May and since then everything has just about gone to pot. Not only am I now creeping back to my heaviest recorded weight, but I have also lost any level of fitness that I may have had.  

Peri-menopause isn't helping the situation one little bit. Another recent blood test has shown that I am even more post menopausal than I was in May, which seems absurd because I have not yet been through the menopause. My doctor agreed this week to check out my estrogen levels, in conjunction with the normal hormone test they have done, so I'll see what comes up from the test some time next week. 

Some of my main current Peri-menopause/menopausal symptoms, in no particular order are: weight gain, depression, terrible anxiety, general aches and pains, fatigue, insomnia and night time hot flushes. Fortunately the migraines and headaches have calmed down and have got to the stage where they are more unusual than common place and I am very grateful for that.

I also have an autoimmune disease called Palmoplantar Pustulosis (PPP) and although I count myself lucky that its on the soles of my feet and not the palms of my hands (I can hide it), I find it really stressful  and at times extremely painful. Interestingly six years ago I followed the 8 week Blood sugar diet and whilst I did this to lose weight, my PPP cleared up for the first time in years. I am very confident that the change to my PPP was due to the lack of gluten and grains.

In contrast with the blood sugar diet (a low calorie, low carb, but high animal protein diet), for the last year I have been trying to follow the Starch Solution way of eating; a whole food plant based diet, that concentrates on consuming mainly starches. Although people get fantastic results, both reversing diseases and losing weight, it doesn't work for me. Not only I have put on a lot of weight, although I haven't stuck to anything 100% of the time, but my PPP is worse than ever, which is concerning.  

And so in conclusion - I know I want to be whole food and plant based, but the plan is to also go gluten and grain free, at least for a while to see what happens to my feet and if I can again put my PPP into remission. I have rejoined the gym and hope to get back to where I can enjoy going again and start to see some changes in my fitness levels and all round wellbeing. Fingers crossed that this year I will at least stick to something. 

June update..

It's difficult to know what to say really this month. I've had some interesting conversations with my doctor and managed to put on 8 pounds, that's more or less the highlights. 

• Weight - Oh what's the point, back to square one
• Physical wellbeing - Managing this month. 
• Mental wellbeing - Not so bad the last couple of weeks

Weight - Not only have I not lost any weight I have in fact gained over half a stone and I'm exactly back where I was when I started to try and be accountable.

Physical wellbeing - Following on from my last update, I had my blood tests done which included; full blood count, kidney and liver function, diabetes and hormone levels. I received the results confirming all normal, no action required. Really good news but that still didn't explain the neck and head issues that I am experiencing every day, along with all the other goodies that go with it.

I called the doctor back and spoke to one of the surgeries female doctors. I asked what the hormone blood test showed and she said they were normal and where they should be of a woman of my age, being that I  was post menopausal. I explained that I wasn't post menopausal as I was still having regular periods and as far as I was aware to be post menopausal I would have to have not had a period for 12 months. I asked if that  result would account for a lot of the problems I was having? She said no, your hormones are where they should be for a woman of your age and post menopausal. 

Now I'm not a doctor but surely someone that is should be aware of the fundamental issues woman face nearing menopause and certainly what the definition of menopause is. Also any doctor, male or female should know about potential menopause problems and not be dismissal, after all over half of the patients in their surgery will be women.

She went on to say that the doctor who had ordered this batch of blood tests hadn't ordered all of the correct tests she wanted and that she would do some more for bone issues and to rule out 'more sinister stuff'. She would also arrange for a neck X-ray. I went for the neck X-ray that afternoon in order that it would be back the following week, along with the additional blood test results. 

I went back for the additional blood tests, had my weight checked (no more said about that) and also my blood pressure checked which was high. This may be down to my white coat syndrome but its probably also a good idea to reduce my salt intake in the meantime.

A few days later I called back and again was advised that my blood results were normal, no action required. I asked the receptionist if they had a menopause specialist in the surgery and she said shed get the doctor to call me back. The doctor called back and said she wouldn't refer me to a menopause specialist until I had been referred to a neurologist and so I am on a waiting list for that. 

However my neck X-ray did show Spondylosis/Spondylitis in the C4&C5 vertebra, degeneration of the disks, which may account for some of the neck and head issues. I've done research and joined a Facebook group and I'm surprised at how many issues this can cause, from the headaches, neck pain and ear problems to stomach issues and throat problems. I have also found that menopause can make all these symptoms much worse, so a double whammy all at once.

Personally, I do think that I need to see a menopause specialist and we are thinking of now going private for this issue. My main symptoms are surely linked to peri-menopause. I have always been very regular and the last couple of years my periods have gone from 28 days to 30/32. From February this year, along with the first major migraine I dropped to 23 days and then 26 for the following couple of months. My last period was on 18 April and I thought that was that, but after 52 days its back. I'm just hoping that having felt much better over the last couple of weeks I don't have to start again with all the other symptoms coming crashing in again.

Some good news though, my bowel and smear screening all came back as negative.

Mental wellbeing - Considering everything I would say I'm currently doing ok.

Is this what Alzheimers feels like? A migraine experience.

I had another full on migraine last night and it terrifies me.

It was only 3 months ago that I had the last one and this one happened in exactly the same way as before.

My last migraine started with neck pain, but I didn't realise at the time that this could be a symptom of the onset of a migraine. After nearly 3 months of neck pain I was just starting to finally feel normal, but this morning after the migraine the neck pain is back.

One other thing I noticed yesterday was that throughout the day I felt I needed to pee a lot more than usual, I kept feeling desperate for the loo and began to feel that I may have been getting a urine infection. Looking back to the the migraine in February I had exactly the same thing, I couldn't stop peeing. This and neck pain are something I need to be aware of, as either or both could indicate the onset of a migraine.

Yesterday had been a normal day, I actually felt pretty good. We had a good day working together stripping varnish off a wooden floor by hand and made good progress, hard work but all ready to varnish when we went to bed. I then enjoyed a relaxing bath and had my one drink a week, which consists of a Jack Daniels and a diet Coke. What could be interesting here that it wasn't a caffeine free Coke, making it my only drink this week with caffeine in it.

I sat down for a few minutes before standing up again to prepare dinner and upon standing experienced the pain in my head as before. An intense pain that subsided after a couple of minutes, exactly the same as the last time, but I wouldn't describe it as a thunder clap. The pain wore off and I carried on preparing dinner. 

Around 10 to 20 minutes later the zig zag lines started, at first only affecting the bottom half of my vision, but increasing over time. No headache at this point. The vision disturbances (aura) continued for about 20 minutes, during this time I took a migraine tablet. 

Once my vision cleared and went back to normal the headache started. They say that most people experience migraines on one side of their head but I honestly couldn't tell you where mine radiates from. 

As with each of my previous two migraines that started with the aura I then stated to forget the names of things and people, my recollection had completely gone. I didn't know things that I was looking at, they were no longer recognisable.  Even when my husband told me the names of my dogs, my children and grandchildren they made no sense. I didn't even know his name and had to ask. 

Having now experienced this three times I wondered this morning if that's what it feels like to live with Alzheimer's all the time. Suddenly not knowing what things are, not just forgetting the names of them but seeing them as completely different objects. Not having any recollection of specific everyday things, what they are called or what they are used for. I could read but didn't know what the words meant, my mum is like that. How terrifying must it be to live in that world permanently.

The very first time I had one of these migraines was around five years ago and because I'd never experienced anything like it before I was sent to A&E to check whether or not I had suffered from a mini stroke or TIA, as that time I also had numbness in my face. I remember the nurse I saw telling me that a friend of hers suffered from that type of migraine every time and although awful for her I have to admit it makes me feel slightly better knowing that other people suffer the same symptoms.

Five years ago for the first migraine with aura and memory problems and now two in three months. My last attack lasted for two weeks, with the headaches picking up every afternoon. Fingers crossed that I get over this one much more quickly. I am writing this, with head pain but not debilitating. I'll keep taking pain killers today regardlessly and hope that the afternoon is relatively normal. My main problem is being scared to stand up. 

I have my blood tests in the morning, so hopefully I'll be able to get to the bottom of things and start to learn how to control or at least live with future attacks without being completely freaked out by them. 

What would be really great though would be to hear from anyone else who suffers or suffered from migraines like these, whether linked to peri-menopause, menopause, other hormone related issues or just generally and to hear how they dealt with the attacks.

May update

A whole month has gone by without any change to anything really, a wasted month on the weight loss front for certain, I've definitely gone off the boil, my motivation has waned.

• Weight - more or less the same as last month. 
• Physical wellbeing - Could be better again.
• Mental wellbeing - About the same.

Weight - No weight loss this month, but mostly through lack of trying. My get up and go has got up and gone.

Physical wellbeing - I've had another month of neck pain and headaches. I actually got to see a physiotherapist, following a doctors telephone consultation, with the hope that I would get some sort of treatment or help. But although you can now physically go into the surgery for the appointment they don't do actual hands on treatment, just talk through your symptoms. So I left with some neck exercises and wondering why they didn't just do an online video call. She did however suggest that I arrange for some blood tests to get my hormones checked and I have an appointment for that later this month. 

In February 2020 I received a letter from the NHS for a bowel cancer screening appointment due in April that year. I had no idea that over 55s were invited for this in the first place but was secretly pretty happy that for obvious reasons it was cancelled. However last week I received a home test and did duly send it off. Lucky me, I also received a phone call from the doctors to book an appointment for a smear test which I also went to on Friday. I am now waiting for the results of these two tests, as well as having an appointment for the blood tests. Its going to be an anxious 4 week wait to get all the results in, but at least after that I would have had a pretty good MOT of sorts.

Mental wellbeing - More or less ok, around the same as last month, so that's all good. 

March update and health anxieties.

 A new month and a new update.

• Weight - Slowly but surely moving in the right direction. 
• Physical wellbeing - Ok but my health anxieties are taking over.
• Mental wellbeing - Its not been good.

Weight - I've lost that first 7lbs (half a stone) and that always feels good. Its coming down, even if it is only by half a pound a week. I just need to keep my head in gear and keep up the momentum. 

Physical wellbeing - Not much has been happening on the exercise front, mostly I've just been clearing out the sold house and clearing out the house we live in to accommodate the excess 'stuff'. We've exchanged for completion next week and that will be a massive weight off once its all done and dusted and I can find time for other things to occupy my mind. 

Mental wellbeing - I think physical and mental wellbeing should be lumped together this month. My health anxieties are beginning to rule my life again. For some reason every year at this time is really bad for me. 

I hate being like this, scared of every twinge, looking in the mirror constantly for changes, checking heart rates all the time and looking up Dr Google for any inconsistencies. Not only is it extremely bad for me but it also affects all those around me. I live in a constant fear that there is something terribly wrong until I can get checked out and told I'm ok. This year I can't do that as I can't get an appointment to see a doctor in person, so it's just building up and up. 

I think a lot of my problems could be put down to peri-menopause. Im 56 and still have regular periods, or mostly regular. I have a list of symptoms that have been going on for years but are getting worse each month, from the headaches and sleepless nights, to the aches, pains and anxieties that drive everyone, including myself mad. But I'm hopeful that by next months update I'll be feeling better and back on a more level day to day mental wellbeing.