Our lockdown baby has turned 1

One of the saddest things about this last year for us as a family has been the lack of contact with our grandson who was born on 27 March 2020, the week after the first major lockdown.

My daughters first baby, born at just 5lb 13oz, a tiny, perfectly formed baby boy, Jasper Arthur. Our first meeting was through a patio door window and that's pretty much how it's been on and off for the year. Poor Jasper doesn't really know us, even though he only lives 3 miles away. 

He is happy to see us online, but weary if we see him in 'real life' and why wouldn't he be, in all essence we are strangers to him. But things will hopefully change sooner rather than later now, I'm hopeful anyway.

Our first meeting

My daughter loves woodland colours and the woodland theme. 

I made Jasper his birthday card. I'm really enjoying making cards like this, using different coloured papers and pencils.

I also got to make Jasper his very first birthday cake. I spent 2 days designing a cake topper, taking inspiration from different sources but also making it from paper, whilst also having to work out the logistics of how to get it to stand up. I have to say I was pretty pleased with the results.

As Jasper wouldn't be eating any of the iced cake I also made a wholewheat, refined sugar free, no fat carrot cake, with cream cheese topping, not as pretty but he enjoyed it and it tasted pretty good too.

Due to the current restrictions we were not allowed to join in any celebrations but we enjoyed our quick doorstep visit. Fortunately both my daughters with the children have joined together in a childcare bubble so Jasper, Alfie and Arlo could all have fun eating and playing.

Next year needs to be very different!

Finally a little bit of crafting

It's my grandsons first birthday next week. 

My daughter is very specific on what she likes and doesn't like, what colours things can be and definitely no plastic and quite rightly too. But it does make it quite tricky to know what to get and where to get it what with no shops being open.

She mentioned last week that her and Jasper love Belle and Boo and she's also recently been looking for a name plate for his room. Luckily for me I just happen to have the Belle and Boo craft book and was happy to see on the first page a design for a framed name letter. 

Having made button bouquets previously I hunted out the left over buttons and set to work. I had a lovely quiet afternoon organising and gluing.

Planning stage

Final design with more green

First layer stuck down

Finished piece with final layers

Framed

Although this my not be what my daughter was looking for as a name plate, I do believe she will love it, mainly because its been handmade by Nanny, the buttons have sentimental value from her sisters wedding and its Belle and Boo inspired, I do hope so anyway.

I got my vaccine

I had my vaccine on Saturday morning. 

I had the Oxford AstraZeneca amid the fears that it causes blood clots and that a number of countries are temporarily stopping it being used in their vaccine programs. I obviously hope that having done 11 million jabs using this vaccine in the UK and no problems recorded, that these countries will again give it the go ahead very quickly, but it is a bit unnerving now that I've had it that these fears won't go away.

On Saturday I wouldn't have even known that I'd had a vaccine, no tenderness or any other reaction. I woke at 2am just very thirsty and my arm was painful at that point, but nothing major. By Sunday afternoon my arm felt like I'd been punched and I couldn't get warm, not shivery, just bone cold and slightly lightheaded. I had a nap on the sofa, with a blanket to get warm and felt much better after that. Today, Monday I just feel pretty normal, the pain in my arm has subsided and now again I get a slight sense of lightheadedness but that's it.

I truly believe that vaccine program is the only way out of the situation we find ourselves in and although very nervous and not at all keen on getting vaccinated, I am confident that I have done the right thing and have helped in getting a step nearer to being able to see and be with my family members once again.

March update and health anxieties.

 A new month and a new update.

• Weight - Slowly but surely moving in the right direction. 
• Physical wellbeing - Ok but my health anxieties are taking over.
• Mental wellbeing - Its not been good.

Weight - I've lost that first 7lbs (half a stone) and that always feels good. Its coming down, even if it is only by half a pound a week. I just need to keep my head in gear and keep up the momentum. 

Physical wellbeing - Not much has been happening on the exercise front, mostly I've just been clearing out the sold house and clearing out the house we live in to accommodate the excess 'stuff'. We've exchanged for completion next week and that will be a massive weight off once its all done and dusted and I can find time for other things to occupy my mind. 

Mental wellbeing - I think physical and mental wellbeing should be lumped together this month. My health anxieties are beginning to rule my life again. For some reason every year at this time is really bad for me. 

I hate being like this, scared of every twinge, looking in the mirror constantly for changes, checking heart rates all the time and looking up Dr Google for any inconsistencies. Not only is it extremely bad for me but it also affects all those around me. I live in a constant fear that there is something terribly wrong until I can get checked out and told I'm ok. This year I can't do that as I can't get an appointment to see a doctor in person, so it's just building up and up. 

I think a lot of my problems could be put down to peri-menopause. Im 56 and still have regular periods, or mostly regular. I have a list of symptoms that have been going on for years but are getting worse each month, from the headaches and sleepless nights, to the aches, pains and anxieties that drive everyone, including myself mad. But I'm hopeful that by next months update I'll be feeling better and back on a more level day to day mental wellbeing.